The Angry/Why Me Place

The bowel saga continues…I went very quickly back to my version of normal and even quicker to the other extreme of major diarrhea. Fortunately that did not last long and I am back to my normal. Other than that the beast has been quiet. The fistula on the other hand flared right after I came home. Since then it has been draining a lot and goes from hurting really bad to hurting just a little and back to hurting really bad. Last night it was hurting really really bad. So bad that it sent me to that angry/why me place. Isn’t dealing with breast cancer enough? Why do I have to deal with this pain too? Or, I’ve been suffering with Crohns disease so long why do I have to go through breast cancer too. Since the surgery I spend a lot of time sitting because that’s about all I can do. That’s the only time I’m comfortable. Then the fistula flares and I’m not even comfortable sitting. Arrrrggggg! I wonder if the change in my bowels caused the flare? I guess it could be from all the sitting around? Whatever the cause I’ve had enough. Of course as angry as all this makes me I am very thankful that no other crohns related problem has reared its ugly head. I just want it ALL to feel better….please!!! Speaking of sitting around, I don’t usually have the TV on during the day and let me tell you I’m not missing anything. I can’t believe we have all these channels and I still can’t find anything good to watch. I’ve never been fond of game shows and I no longer watch soap operas. I say no longer because years ago when my kids were younger I watched a few soap operas but now I have no desire to watch them. I’m sure if I tuned in it would only take me a few days to feel like I picked up right where I left off lol. Of course with all that’s going on in my life I guess you could say I’m living my own little soap opera…Nahh. I’m also not really crazy about talk shows so unless there is a good movie on I’m more tempted to take a nap. Well actually there are all the reruns of old shows. I do like Everybody Loves Raymond. I could watch that all day. I’m starting to get my appetite back but I don’t have any cravings. It would be nice to crave something I would really enjoy eating. The one thing I always crave and always look forward to is a Starbucks Chai Latte. My sister and sister in law have been bringing me those as often as they can…yum. Well since there is not a Chai Latte on the way that nap is sounding pretty good.

Love, Laugh, and Always know where the nearest bathroom is
For updates on my Breast Cancer journey go to:
http://yourboobsoryourlife.blogspot.com/

Gee Thanks Crohns

So you all know that I have been having a lot of nausea and fatigue yadda yadda yadda, and baseball season is always a difficult time for me. For me Crohns and baseball just doesn’t go well together. As I’ve said before I don’t do porta johns unless it’s an extreme emergency. So I avoid extreme emergencies by not eating. As you can imagine this makes even a good day turn bad very quickly. So I’ve been struggling through the season going to all of B’s games and most of J’s home games. This week however I was just worn out and feeling extra nauseous and fatigued on Tuesday so I decided not to go to B’s game. Now my kids are wonderful and they completely understand if I can’t make it to a game. As a matter of fact when they know that I’m not feeling well they encourage me to stay home because they want me to feel better more than anything. It’s me being stubborn and not wanting/letting Crohns interfere with any part of my kids lives. But I do know my limits (most of the time) so I stayed home and it felt good to stay home until I hear “B hit a homerun” his third one this year and I missed it. I missed it because of you Crohns. You are such a pain in the butt Crohns (pun intended). All I can say is it’s a good thing I got to see the first two. I am very thankful for that!!!

J’s team is doing very well! They qualified for the Quarter Finals that will be played on Sat. at their home field. If they win they move on. GO TEAM!

I got my Cimzia shots last night and I hope its kicking your butt Crohns. Blood work today, ugh more needles. Hoping she can get it on the first stick this time. I’ll be sure to let you know. So until then

Love, Laugh, and always know where the nearest bathroom is

The Week in Review

Monday I went back to the doctors to get the results of my blood work (trying to get to the bottom of all this joint pain and fatigue). I had her give me a copy of my results, something I intend to do from now on so that I can keep track of my health better. The good news is that my RA screen was negative. She had some concerns about my Thyroid level being on the high side based on new standards. Hypothyroid symptoms include muscle and joint pain, fatigue, weight gain is common even though appetite diminishes heavy periods, and mental activity— including concentration and memory—may become slightly impaired. I have experiences all of these except the weight gain; however, I have less appetite but I’m not losing any weight. My B12 was low, which can cause fatigue. I am now taking B12 under the tongue and will be recheck in May. If my B12 has not improved I will switch to the shots. My Vitamin D was deficient. This can cause bone pain and muscle weakness, as well as fatigue. I am now taking 50,000 IU once a week for 4 weeks then Vitamin D3 2000 IU daily. My Triglycerides are also high :( but I’m not really doing much different except the gluten free foods and now that I’m on the gluten free diet I eat less carbs. Maybe its because the food isn’t going through me as fast??? Everything else was good (all two pages of results). I will be having all these retested in May so heres hopping for improvement and MORE ENERGY!!!

A special thank you to everyone who has been praying for my father in law and my family. We are so thankful for your love and support. Please continue to pray. Wednesday was a difficult day. We had to take my father in law to the hospital. He is now in the last stage of lung cancer. My husband and brother in law tried to take care of him at home but it was getting too difficult. In the last few days he had become too weak to walk and started having a lot more pain. The pain meds/disease have been making him so confused, sometimes not knowing where he was or who his sons were, seeing people and things that aren’t there, angry one min. and raising his fist, then so sad and crying the next min. He is settled into a comfortable room and the wonderful nursing staff is regulating his pain meds and trying to keep him as comfortable as possible. The transition to the hospital has really worn him out and he has been sleeping most of the time. It is so hard to watch him go from such a strong independent man to this. I hate cancer. I have lost so many people I love to cancer.

On a happier note…J had his first home game of the season. It felt so nice (normal) to be out in the warm sun watching a baseball game. He is one of the many pitchers on the team and he did not pitch for this game :( so I went off (like I always do) and took some pictures of his friends. (see some pics below) He has a double header tomorrow so hopefully I will get to see him pitch and get some good pics of him. B has three scrimmage games next week (if the weather cooperates and the fields are playable). I am so excited that it is finally baseball season. I just hope I have the energy to get through it…….in the meantime

Love, Laugh, and always know where the nearest bathroom is

To the Doctors…Again!!!

I think I spend more time with doctors then I do with my family. I know that can’t be true but that’s how it feels sometimes. So in case you haven’t guessed I went to the doctor’s office yesterday. This was supposed to be my yearly check up/yearly TB test. The office called me last week to tell me that my doctor was going to be out of town this week so I could either reschedule or see the Nurse Practitioner. I choose to keep my appointment and see the Nurse Practitioner. I had some second thoughts in the morning thinking that I would be wasting my time and that I should just cancel and reschedule with my doctor when he gets back but I went. I went and I’m so glad I did. She was absolutely wonderful. Not that I don’t like my doctor, I like him a lot. He has always been wonderful but she was WOW. I talked to her about everything that has been going on lately, all the Crohns problems, GYN problems, and Cimzia problems. She had a very interesting take on all of it. She does not think it’s the Cimzia at all that is causing all the joint pain and headaches, and fatigue. She believes that it is hormonal, perimenopause to be exact. Now normally I would have been very insulted by such a diagnosis. After all I am still way way way to young for that (stop right there those of you who are tempted to leave a comment with malicious facts when the truth is I have always done things ahead of my time why should this be any different…so there). Okay back to the point, I am not insulted because I’m thankful for any answer that explains the problems and any help that can be received. Joint pain, fatigue, bad headaches can all increase from the hormonal changes. She is also sure that the joint pain is also Rheumatoid Arthritis (not the Cimzia) I also have swollen lymph nodes in my neck but no sign of infection. Apparently this can also be a sign of Rheumatoid Arthritis. My other doctors have been telling me that my B12 levels are fine but she feels that by the new standard my level is too low and I should be getting the shots. She also agrees that my vit D level needs to be checked. I go back Thursday morning for a boat load of blood work. She is going to check everything. When I go back on Thursday I am going to schedule a follow up with her so I can find out exactly what my results were and what I need to do. I think I’m seeing a light at the end of the tunnel………I hope it’s not a train!

Love, Laugh, and always know where the nearest bathroom is

Another crappy day….pun intended

This is not a good day. Dragged myself out of bed this morning. Two hour delay for the school district so I crawled back to bed. Dragged myself out of bed again. I started off with just joint pain but its joint pain that is off the charts. Almost brought me to tears today. The monster in my gut seemed to be sleeping but now it is stirring too. GO BACK TO SLEEP!!!

I scheduled my colonoscopy (woop) for March 1st. I am anxious to see if there has been any improvement since being on the Cimzia. I have a bad feeling that the Cimzia is what is causing the horrible joint pain. I have had joint pain for many years but never ever this bad and earlier this month when I had to postpone my injections because of my head cold I noticed my joints were starting to feel better. When my head cold was gone I got my injections and a few days later the joint pain was back. I tried to get an appointment with the rheumatoid doc. today but silly me I called during their hour and a half lunch time. I couldn’t call back because I had to drag myself to the high school and work the concession stand, although if it weren’t for my commitment to help the coach I would probably never leave the house. How sad is that! So I will try to call the doctor tomorrow. Better days are coming…..Right???

Love, laugh, and always know where the nearest bathroom is