The Angry/Why Me Place

The bowel saga continues…I went very quickly back to my version of normal and even quicker to the other extreme of major diarrhea. Fortunately that did not last long and I am back to my normal. Other than that the beast has been quiet. The fistula on the other hand flared right after I came home. Since then it has been draining a lot and goes from hurting really bad to hurting just a little and back to hurting really bad. Last night it was hurting really really bad. So bad that it sent me to that angry/why me place. Isn’t dealing with breast cancer enough? Why do I have to deal with this pain too? Or, I’ve been suffering with Crohns disease so long why do I have to go through breast cancer too. Since the surgery I spend a lot of time sitting because that’s about all I can do. That’s the only time I’m comfortable. Then the fistula flares and I’m not even comfortable sitting. Arrrrggggg! I wonder if the change in my bowels caused the flare? I guess it could be from all the sitting around? Whatever the cause I’ve had enough. Of course as angry as all this makes me I am very thankful that no other crohns related problem has reared its ugly head. I just want it ALL to feel better….please!!! Speaking of sitting around, I don’t usually have the TV on during the day and let me tell you I’m not missing anything. I can’t believe we have all these channels and I still can’t find anything good to watch. I’ve never been fond of game shows and I no longer watch soap operas. I say no longer because years ago when my kids were younger I watched a few soap operas but now I have no desire to watch them. I’m sure if I tuned in it would only take me a few days to feel like I picked up right where I left off lol. Of course with all that’s going on in my life I guess you could say I’m living my own little soap opera…Nahh. I’m also not really crazy about talk shows so unless there is a good movie on I’m more tempted to take a nap. Well actually there are all the reruns of old shows. I do like Everybody Loves Raymond. I could watch that all day. I’m starting to get my appetite back but I don’t have any cravings. It would be nice to crave something I would really enjoy eating. The one thing I always crave and always look forward to is a Starbucks Chai Latte. My sister and sister in law have been bringing me those as often as they can…yum. Well since there is not a Chai Latte on the way that nap is sounding pretty good.

Love, Laugh, and Always know where the nearest bathroom is
For updates on my Breast Cancer journey go to:
http://yourboobsoryourlife.blogspot.com/