Lets Make a Deal

I don’t like to complain so much but come on…. Why can’t I just have one disease at a time or at least only one active at a time. I’ve accepted that I have Crohns disease…after all I’ve been dealing with it for more than 20 years. I’ve almost accepted having breast cancer after all its only been three months (wow it has only been three months…it feels more like three years). So crohns (looking down at my belly), yes I’m talking to you. Could you please just back off till I get through the reconstruction and the chemo. Could you just sit back and let me put all my energy into growing new boobs and killing any stray cancer cells. Wouldn’t you rather hide from me while I’m bald and nauseous. You don’t need to keep reminding me that you were here first. You don’t need to be jealous…I will always like you better than cancer. You can relax and enjoy some time off. You’ve worked so hard all these years so how about taking a well deserved vacation. Better yet how about joining forces with me and fighting this cancer together. Instead of chewing on my intestine go gobble up any bad cells that are hanging around. Ya know if you would quit flaring my fistula I could have more energy to get through the cancer treatment. Just so you know the sooner I get through the cancer treatment the sooner it can be just you and me again. You could attack the cancer instead of me. You could be the crohninator, my very own Arnold. Tell the cancer “Hasta la vista, baby!” You could be Batman and I could be Robin. Come on, Crohns, to the Bat Cave! There's not a moment to lose! You can be Mario and I’ll be Luigi: Strap your belt on, kid. We're going in! Come on what do ya say??? Don’t make me come down there and kick your, well I guess it would be my ass!…PLEASE…I’m begging now!

Love, Laugh, and Always know where the nearest bathroom is