I had to take B to the doctors last week:
Scene: Doctors waiting room where all crohnies can be found on any given day and today an old lady wearing an entire bottle of the worst smelling perfume ever.
Enter: Sweetpea (me, btw I already have a bad headache) and B
I immediately smell said awful perfume. It fills the room like a bug fogger. I sign B in and we take our seats. They are the only two seats together that are left in the room and they are way too close to smelly perfume lady. Mars would be to close. I’m not sure I can take it. I pull B towards me to try to block the smell. If I could I would bury my face in his armpit because I know it would smell a lot better but I would look even more ridiculous. I say even more because the entire time I am sitting there I have my hand up under my nose as if I am covering a cough…only I am not coughing. I continue to pull B towards me and inform him that I may have to hurl on his shoes. I am just about ready to go up to the window and say “Listen you need to either take her back to a room or us because I can’t stand the smell of her anymore”. Since I know that will get me no where I decide that I’m going to make a run for the hallway when the door opens and they call the woman’s name. I thought for sure her last name would be stinkbug. I was so glad to see her go until I realized she left the awful perfume smell behind. So I continue to sit with my hand under my nose looking around at the other people wondering how they can stand it. Finally they call for B and I almost knock him over as I run to the door. “Room 1” says the nurse. We rush in and I turn to the door as she is closing it “NOooooo this is the room she was in” B (who just happens to be sucking on a cherry lifesaver starts blowing in my face. Ahhhhh cherry lifesavers have never smelled so good. I continue the hand under my nose position. The doctor comes in, checks B’s incision, and gives us his instructions which include returning in two weeks. I try not to knock the doctor over on my way out. We check out with the receptionist and go back in the waiting room. Smelly perfume lady is gone but her perfume remains just as strong, just as smelly. Holding my breath I race to the door and into the hallway. I grab B and say that smell is still in there…what if its still there in two weeks??? Does anyone know where I can buy a cheap gas mask and a sign for the door that says “For the love of God No one is permitted to wear smelly old lady perfume EVER”.
Love, Laugh, and Always know where the nearest bathroom is
(and pray that smelly perfume lady hasn’t already been there)